


You've Got Mail

by Lory221B



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:37:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15873114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lory221B/pseuds/Lory221B
Summary: Jim and Oswald have started a virtual relationship ... and none of them knows who the other is.





	1. Prologue

« So, at the end, my advice to join the forum has paid off? Have you met some beautiful dames? »

Harvey suddenly appeared behind Gordon's shoulders giving him a friendly pat on the back. Jim had not heard him coming, too caught up in the e-mail he was reading and his first temptation was to hide the screen from Bullock's view, so that he could not comment on the contents of the e-mail.

« Wait, is he a man? » He added, reading a few words from Gordon's mail.

« Yes, he is. Is it a problem? »

« What? No! Live and let live, that is my motto » he answered, holding up his hands as Jim closed the mail window before Harvey could add more jokes.

« So, have you already had a date with him? »

« No, it's just a virtual relationship. It's nothing like what you think » he added, but Harvey noticed a certain nervousness in his friend, as if he had been caught.

« Mmh, I can smell a crush » Bullock replied, studying Jim's tense posture better and he did a face in response. « Why do not you want to know him? Fear of falling in love? »

« For the moment, I prefer things to stay that way. We do not know our real names, the job, we are just two strangers who talk without worries »

« When you say "without worries" do you mean without the pressure to please? »

« I suppose you're right in a way »

« When I advised you to join the "Gotham over 30" forum it was to get you out of the house, not because you fantasized in front of a PC »  he pointed out. Bullock was really sorry to see his friend all home and wor , he hoped that he would start living again after Lee and seeing that there was no way to get him out,  he believed that online meetings could be a solution.

« Do you realize that he could be anyone? » Harvey asked him jokingly and conspiratorially at the same time « Do you imagine? He could be, I do not know, the guy who brings us the mail, or someone we know. Maybe he's Alfred » he laughed as Jim he laughed in spite of himself. Several times he had thought about the fact that it was a possible risk, maybe he was actually someone he knew. Certainly he was not Alfred, maybe he did not know his name but from some details it was obvious that they were about the same age and he had been born in Gotham. He was sure, he liked him. They had started to write by chance, a joke on the forum and then they had moved on to e-mails. He felt strangely well with him and although he had not had serious relationships with men he was beginning to think that since the women had always gone wrong, it was not so wrong to point to a man. Plus he felt free: writing was much easier than telling what he felt and the same was true for "Gotham_152" - this was the nick of the stranger.

As soon as Bullock moved away from his office, he reopened the mail, turned more circumspectly and with curiosity started reading.

" _I took a dog and gave it a completely inappropriate name. In fact, I do not even know why he did it. Think, I called him as the man I had fallen in love with. I thought I had finally overcome him and instead here I am_ "

Jim sighed, he did not pretend that the stranger had never had romantic relationships before him, but he felt already jealous of this other man.

" _I'm not very lucky with romantic relationships. Before I had focused everything on someone who could never love me, I wanted at least we were friends but things got a little 'strange. Then I met him, he was nice to me, so I thought maybe he liked me, too. Excuse me, I digress, I don’t know why I have become so sentimental, it will be this autumnal climate_ "

Jim smiled, in the previous e-mail had mentioned his devastating story with Lee, always nameless, and how he felt useless and sideline when she first got married to Mario and then started the relationship with Ed. Maybe that was why he was talking about his sentimental past, maybe he was also a bit jealous of Jim previous relationships.

Harvey knocked on the door again and Jim could not help sighing, before remembering that he would have to get to work.

« There is Cobblepot » he announced, rolling his eyes.

« What does he want? »

« I think for the police party. You know he wants to run again as mayor »

« Did you tell him we have more serious things than worry about his re-election? »

Harvey opened his mouth to reply but was soon silenced by Oswald himself who broke into the Captain's office with the usual arrogance of one who believed himself to be the owner of the city.

« My dear old friend » he began to talk, with feigned flattery.

 « Oswald, I have no time for your pleasantries »

« Oh, very well. Does this mean that GCPD officially supports the other candidate, do you really support Barbara Kean ? »

« If you're here, it's because your election campaign is not going so well, I've heard sabotage. Someone is rowing against you to annoy you and obviously he or she is not so afraid of you » he replied, knowing he had hit the mark but he was sure that Oswald would keep his usual unperturbed expression.

« Maybe » Gordon added.  « Is it Ed? the Riddler? »

« Oh, do not call him that way too »  he replied, annoyed.

« Was he your friend, am I wrong? »

« I do not know who's behind it; me and Barbara have a non-belligerent agreement and as far as I know she  is respecting it»

« In fact, I do not believe there is Barbara behind the bankruptcy of your fundraising»

« Miss » Bullock broke in. « I think we all have more serious things to do than discuss about old friends who have become crazy maniacs. Penguin what would you need? »

Oswald looked at the puzzled Bullock, he feared that some joke would come, but he really seemed to be waiting for an answer « Just you join my party »

« We do not support anyone, Oswald. Nor is the King of the Underworld »

« So you prefer Barbara to become mayor? »

« No. But we certainly will not take sides , Oswald. Now if you want to go, we have better things to do »

He replied by passing in front of him completely ignoring his disappointed and outraged expression.

**** * ****

Olga had served dinner in the living room for half an hour, yet the landlord had not shown up. Since Oswald had chosen a new, huge location for Iceberg Lounge, he had moved to live on the upper floors of the Club and had wanted the old staff with him, at least the little he believed he could still trust.

The housekeeper decided to go looking for the man, fearing that something had happened to him. He opened the door of the study slowly to find that he was smiling in front of the PC screen.

« Mr. Cobblepot ... dinner»

Oswald looked up, lost for a moment, as if he had been catapulted out of a dream to find himself in his office.

« Yes, I'm coming. I was just reading an e-mail »

Olga made an odd and Oswald frowned at her.

« Mr. Cobblepot, you should find a real friend » she said and feared she had gone further. Oswald treated her like one of the family, but for a moment she thought he would fire her immediately.

Instead, contrary to what Olga believed, Oswald smiled, almost resignedly « I thank you for the concern but I'm fine. It’s better that way »

"Much better that way," thought Oswald, and with an unequivocal gesture dismissed the housekeeper who came out of the study, shaking his head.

Months before, during a colossal sad hangover, he had joined an over 30 forum, reserved for the inhabitants of Gotham and without realizing he had exchanged the mail address with a mysterious but very interesting man. Anonymity was important; he could not say to a stranger who was talking to Oswald Cobblepot, he would not have told anything personal. Instead it was extremely relaxing to be able to open up with someone who would not judge him or use information against him. Of course, he had to filter the stories, but he had this space to tell himself to share only with him, with JW_Gotham .

He finished reading the email, he was too curious.

" _In the morning I was walking towards work when I met some kids who were jumping in a pile of leaves. It's silly but I found myself sighing, thinking about how much I'd like to be more spontaneous and free. Sometimes I just want to escape, others I can not wait to start my work and to end satisfied the day. It's a swing but there are times when I think I could not live anywhere else except in Gotham_ "

« Oh, how I understand you » he said aloud.

A bark from the other room reminded him that he had to feed his dog so he closed the PC and with a dreamy sigh went to the living room.

 

 


	2. A new man and a new boy in town

« Jimbo, guess what? I found out who is rowing against the Cobblepot elections »

« Oh, thank goodness. I couldn't sleep at night »

Harvey laughed, it really seemed that Jim did not care, and maybe it was so, he had resigned himself to not having a mayor who could be defined as such;at the top there was only corruption or characters running to hide under a desk as soon as someone threatened them, but maybe something was about to change.

« Apparently a third candidate has come up. It will be announced today » now Harvey had his attention and his curiosity « He's a clean one, a novelty for Gotham.He worked at Wayne Enterprises. The rich people, those who are tired of being subjected to criminals and various corrupt in the administration of the city, support him and obviously do not want Penguin as mayor again. They don’t even consider Barbara, she will end up retiring »

Jim was now intrigued  « Good news, a new day for Gotham »

« You do not seem so convinced »

« How long will it last, Harvey, before he aligns with the unwritten laws of the city? »

« Do not sprinkle so much optimism »Jim just laughed while smiling at the PC screen; Harvey was sure that the mysterious man with whom he was writing was the reason of that smiling. He was beginning to be annoyed and even a little jealous, it seemed that Gordon was telling him things that he did not even reveal to Harvey. He wanted Jim to find someone for a romantic relationship, not a new friend to replace him.

« Still sure You do not want to meet the e-mail guy?» He asked warily. He was sure that if Jim had met him and discovered that he was a total loser, he might have stopped fantasizing;or he would have discovered that he was the man of his life, promoting him to boyfriend and Harvey would be back his favorite friend. In all things, meeting him was the solution.

Jim hesitated, he was wondering for some 'time about meeting him; he had so much in common with Gotham _152 that was more and more intrigued. There was someone in Gotham, one of his peers, who thought just like him. He looked like a sensitive, emotional, and rather sarcastic man, and he found himself waiting for the new emails with such interest, to wonder where this man had been all that time and why he had not known him as soon as he set foot in Gotham.

**** * ****

 A few hours later, Gordon was out of the GCPD, clutching an envelope under his arm that contained his longed-for dinner. He was really hungry after spending the whole day at work, he was not even sure he had eaten something for lunch, maybe he had crunched crackers while he was barking orders around.

He turned the corner to reach his apartment when something, or rather someone,to be precise, a child, slammed against him, ending up on the ground.

Jim reached out to help him get up   « Are you okay, kid? »

The child quickly changed expression, from frightened to stiff, he seemed almost angry. He stared at the hand of Gordon but immediately looked away, with the clear intention not to seek help.

« Do we know each other? » Jim asked, looking better the kid. He could not figure out, but he was sure he had seen him somewhere, maybe the hair had something different.

While he was still trying to remember where he had already seen him, the child stood up, ignoring him.

« Hey, where are you going alone? How old are you? Eight or nine years? »

The child continued to walk, and it was then that Gordon, as he stood before him to block him, recognized him.

« You're the kid who was taken hostage by Pyg. Oswald had called you Martin, right? »

Martin, the child who was alive at last; he felt very stupid for believing in Sofia.

The child lit up when the policeman named Oswald; he took the little block he had hung around his neck and wrote " _I'm looking for Oswald_ "

« Oswald lives at his club now; he has a new, huge IcerbergLounge. Why are you looking for him?»

The child did not write anything and indeed seemed worried and this intrigued Gordon enough to offer to accompany him from Oswald.

**** * ****

Oswald Cobblepot was unable to contain the annoyance since he had been informed that a third candidate would be presented as mayor. He had little information about him, yet he knew that it was dangerous: he was a good boy, very respectable origins, an immaculate criminal record. The people would have loved the new candidate and this time he had not on his side the appreciation to have eliminated the so-called monsters from the city.

« Who the hell is this guy? Victor, why did not we know anything about it until today? » He shouted, throwing a glass against the wall.

Zsasz rolled his eyes, used to the outbursts of his Boss. He knew that he still had to make up for the turnaround to join Sofia Falcone, so he did not comment on Oswald's useless wrath.

« Do you want me to finish him? »

« No, it would be too obvious » he replied with an annoyed hand gesture. « Go away, you're of no use » he added, dragging himself toward the bar counter. The place was huge, but empty it seemed even bigger and Oswald sighed sadly;he was missing someone to help him and support him. Perhaps being the Crime lord and even Mayor was a too big step for him; the first time it went well because he had a staff to support him, but now?

Just as he was about to fill the umpteenth glass, he heard Szazs argue with someone. He shook his head, he was sick of being bothered by journalists or small criminals who still believed they could claim control of the territories they had conquered after the collapse of the bridges, but it was none of this.

He put the empty glass and could only stammer a hesitant « Martin? » before being hit by a hug.

Gordon entered the huge hall behind the boy and he was greatly amazed by Oswald's reaction. He seemed touched and Jim noticed that fragile side that characterized the Boss of the city, even if it was easier to see him as a heartless criminal than a man torn to pieces by life.

« What are you doing here?» Oswald leaned over to look at the kid and check that he was fine. Martin wrote on the pad and turned it over to Oswald, full of expectation.

« Did you miss me? » Eyes watered slightly « Martin, we have talked about this, it's dangerous here. I sent you on purpose out of town, you're safe there »

Martin immediately resumed writing, determinedly, and Oswald waited to know what he wanted to tell him.

" _I have waited so for a long time that they reconstructed the bridges.Now I want to stay with you_ "

Oswald gave him a sad smile, he wanted to argue but out of the corner of his eye he saw Jim watching him and decided to postpone any discussion afterwards « Go to the kitchen, last door on the left, Olga will prepare something for you. Do not believe that we will not talk about the fact that you have again run away from your Nanny »

Martin took a sulky expression, until he heard the bark from the other room. The smile grew brighter, he was going to write something but Oswald preceded him.

« Yes, you can play with the puppy »

" _What's his name?_ " He scribbled quickly.

Oswald started to reply but he did not want Jim to hear, too much explaining to do « We'll talk about it later, go now »

Martin was surprised by the answer but he felt that Oswald wanted to be left alone with Jim, so he ran to the room where he had heard barking.

« So, this is Martin » Gordon said.

« Congratulations, detective, thanks for bringing him here.Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an electoral campaign to organize »

Jim came up to face him and Oswald waited patiently to know what would be the charge of the day.

After seeing that Zsasz was working again for Cobblepot, Jim had a half intention to warn him that if anything happened to the new mayoral candidate, he would immediately beat him to Arkham, but he still had in his eyes the meeting with little Martin and at the end desisted from the usual threats.

« What are you going to do with the child? »

« Do not blow him up » he replied, smiling sullenly.

Gordon rolled his eyes « I'm serious »

« It's none of your business, James » he remarked, before turning his back on him and heading for the kitchen to alert Olga that Martin's favorite dish was chicken with chips.

« Are you offended because I do not support your candidacy?» There was no reason to keep talking to him but the question came out of his mouth spontaneously.

Oswald waited a few seconds before turning, time to assume a serious and almost menacing expression.

« I heard there is a new candidate and I expect you would not support him, since you told me that the GCPD will remain neutral » he said, approaching Gordon.

Jim grimaced « I confirm it »

They stood still and stared at each other until they heard the dog barking in the other room.

« Play nice, Oswald » Gordon said, before heading for the exit.

**** * ****

Martin was excited: he ran around the house, tossed the toy bone to the dog, and had already risked dropping Olga three times.Oswald should have scolded him but the child was so happy that he filled his heart;there was someone who was really happy to see Oswald Cobblepot and could not stop smiling at the thought, even he knew that sooner or later he would have to send it away.But he did not want to think about it, not now that he was already overwhelmed by other problems.

He opened the PC; he needed to gather his thoughts by writing to his new friend.He had never realized how easy it was to throw down written thoughts, almost a stream of consciousnessthat allowed him to clarify his life.That JW_Gotham had been a blessing for his solitary and introverted soul.

 _"Dear friend, it is always a pleasure to read your e-mails and now it has become a ritual for me to sit down at the PC and send my thoughts. I hope it's the same for you too; knowing that there is someone like you out there despite dark times that Gotham faced, gives me more confidence in the future. Today I had a bad day raised only at the end. Things at work do not go as I had expected. Usually I'm good at organizing, planning, pre- seeing, instead this time it's not like that. Maybe I just feel lonely, there was usually someone to support me, instead this is time I have to do all by myself; I miss my parents a lot, I need their advice and their encouragement. You have family?_ "

The question slipped spontaneously and even if it was too personal, he decided not to delete it; if JW_Gotham had wanted to avoid it, he would not have been enough to not answer, this was the beauty of written communications.

" _I have a..._ " son? Could he define Martin like that? He did not want to tell the whole story but he could not get out of it saying that he had a son; without explanation it was likely to be giving way to further questions, so he opted for something more nuanced " _I take care of my nephew and I'm always afraid of doing something wrong, not to make the right decision; in short, how do you prepare to be a parent? I do not know what advice to give, at his age I was already an outsider while I hope in a better future for him. I have the feeling that you were very popular instead, I do not know why, I believe from how you write and what you write_ "

He remained with his fingers suspended in the air, uncertain whether to type a thought that had long flashed through his mind: it was a risk but he wanted to know him, he could not think of anything else.It was unnerving to be careful what to write, not to give too many clues, he wanted to see him live, really know him, understand if he was trustworthy as he believed.Then his gaze moved for a moment towards his reflection on the screen.He had never described himself to JW_Gotham, what would his reaction be like seeing him?And then, JW_Gotham looked like a good man, so he would accept Penguin as a friend?Would he have seen beyond the gangster? He let out a faint sigh and gave up the idea of meeting: having a virtual friend was better than having no one.

He sent the e-mail just as Martin peeked into the room.Oswald motioned for him to approach and immediately the boy ran to meet him.

" _Is the policeman okay, now?_ "

Oswald faintly laughed « Let's say he's an old friend, despite everything »

" _You told me it's better not to have friends_ "

« Yeah, there are lessons I can hardly put into practice » he replied, closing the computer, ready to put Martin to sleep. « Did you play with the dog? »

“ _Why did you call him Edward?_ ”

That was a simple question but he couldn’t admit he had given the dog the name of the only person who had truly returned his friendship.

« The last time I became mayor I had an Edward to help me, I thought it was a good idea to have another Ed »

Martin looked at him uncertainly, but did not add anything on the pad.

« All right, let's get a pair of pajamas but don't claim victory just yet, I have not decided yet if you can stay here »

 


	3. Blind date

" _Dear friend, if by "popular" you mean the football champion or something, I tell you are being wrong. I had my friends, my hobbies when I was at school, but I was a bit of a troublemaker; my parents had been very patient with me_ ” Jim smiled wistful, remembering days spent running in motorbike, instead of going to school, with the wind in his hair and a carefree that he was regretting now.

" _I’m sure you'll be a good example for your nephew: you worry about him, you wonder if you are taking the right choices. It shows that you are an attentive uncle. To answer your question, I have no family_ " he had to interrupt for a moment; there were times he thought back to Lee, to the child that could be born, to the nice picture of them sitting at the table in the evening. it seemed unreal to him yet, he began to believe he did not deserve such luck, not after all he had done.

He stretched in his armchair, it was two in the morning already and he would have to go to sleep if he did not fall asleep on his desk the next day, awakened by the laughter of Harvey. He pressed enter and started to get up when the chat window opened and a message arrived.

" _I had the feeling you was online_ "

Gordon laughed " _Hi, Gotham_152_ " he typed .

" _Sleepwalker?_ "

" _I could ask you the same thing_ "

" _I'm taken by some problems_ "

" _Relationship problems?_ " Jim crossed his fingers, hoping he would answer no.

" _Ah ah, definitely not. Business_ "

Jim was tempted to ask what was the job that kept him busy until late at night; was he a broker? Someone who worked in finance? But asking would have passed their rule of anonymity.

" _I wish I could help you_ " he answered.

On the other side of the city, Oswald stared at those simple words and felt more and more the urge to confide in that person, even if he did not know him and hr could not know what to expect and especially if he could trust in him.

He wrote and canceled the answer several times until he sent a terse " _I'd like it_ ".

Jim thought back to what Harvey had told him: they would have to meet sooner or later, curiosity would take over. He knew a virtual relationship would could end in nothing or he would could idealize to the point to not find fulfillment in no other relationship.

He took a breath, as if to say it aloud, and then typed quickly " _Do you think we should meet?_ "

He waited a few minutes, the answer seemed never to come and he feared he had frightened him. He was already about to write " _ok, forget it_ " when an answer appeared finally.

" _I think so_ "

They agreed that they would see each other the next night, in a restaurant in the city center, and they both would have a copy of "The catcher in the rye” to recognize each other: they had found themselves discussing literature in a precedent e-mail exchange and Oswald had defined the book as one of the greatest American novels. Jim had never read it and the next day he had ran to the library to retrieve a copy, but he had was busy in investigation and other stuff, and poor Holden was still lying on the bedside table of Gordon 's room, with the bookmark on page 10.

**** * ****

Oswald was distracted; one of his men was rambling on a new criminal gang, while Victor was trying to report on the new candidate for mayor, but he had not hear a single word.

He was thinking about JW_Gotham and the date that evening; he was reviewing all the possible looks: blue tie? Purple tie? And the hair? Back or forward tuft? Why did he have so little experience? A sound of frustration escaped him, which the men interpreted as annoyance towards him. They looked worried at having made the Boss nervous, and only when Oswald noticed that total silence had fallen in his office, he looked up to see worried faces.

« Emh, boss? I think men would like to know what to do with the gang of Tony Zucco »

Oswald stared at Victor for a moment, before making an angry gesture « Finish them » Among the elections and the new gangs trying to make their way into power, he felt far beyond to be stressed, he deserved a break. When he was finally left alone, he called Olga to prepare lunch for him and Martin, something light to be fit for the evening.

The woman raised an eyebrow, she could not understand why Mr. Cobblepot needed an online relationship and a blind date; she feared he was again deluding himself as it had happened with Nygma, but it was not possible to make him think about that, so she prepared a soup, with extreme disappointment of Martin that he would have preferred a hamburger, and she kept every comment for herself.

There was also a waiting atmosphere at the GCPD: Jim continued to look at his clothes, checking that he had not got dirty during the day, because he could hardly return to his apartment to change before the appointment.

As usual there was never a moment to relax in Gotham, and that day was no exception. Maybe it was good, he was a little nervous about the meeting with Gotham_152, he did not know what to expect and he was dying of curiosity.

« Jimbo, why so nervous? » Harvey asked as he took advantage of the lunch break to eat a hot dog.

« I have a date with Gotham_152 »  he replied, listening to the sound of his voice as if it were almost strange to hear those words « tonight » he added.

« Wow, well done Jim !» Harvey slapped him on the back « Do you have everything you need to have a nice evening? » He added mischievously.

« I have only a book that will help us recognize each other » he replied, shaking his head amused by Bullock's disappointed expression.

« What book? »

« The catcher in the rye »

« I was hoping for "50 shades" » he replied laughing « Well, you do not have to be nervous, it's lucky to go out with Jim Gordon »

Jim did not answer; he usually was not so agitated before a date, but perhaps the fact that he did not know who he would find in front of him made him a little insecure. Six more hours and he would find out.

***** * ****

The Oswald’s limousine stopped in front of the place chosen for the appointment, it was called "Serendipity". Small but welcoming, it seemed the right place to spend a pleasant evening away from prying eyes.

He looked out the car’s window: the restaurant had two nice windows covered with curtains from which it was not possible to see inside, so he could not know if his date had already arrived. He could spy on the door but it would be embarrassing if someone had noticed, so he took heart, he had faced worse challenges, although he felt his legs tremble as many times he found himself staring at the pier in Gotham.

He entered the room and asked for a table booked in the name of Gotham_152; the maid gave a start when she recognized Penguin as a customer. She led him to the table, still empty, but on the other hand he was early, and with even more anxiety he listlessly read the menu.

Ten minutes later Jim Gordon was out of the same place, accompanied by a very curious Harvey Bullock.

« I swear I'll leave right away. Just enough time to see what he looks like »

Jim seemed almost happy to have brought Harvey with him; he was a little nervous and needed support. He stood on the stairs in front of the door, as if he were starting to elaborate that the appointment had not been a good idea, perhaps they had run too far; even if he had proposed it, suddenly it seemed a bad initiative.

« Well, do not you come in? » Harvey said, looking at Jim, who was still standing in front of the first step.

« Can I ask you a favor? Could you look if he's already here? »

Harvey looked amazed « What's wrong with you? Are you afraid you don’t like him or, on the contrary, you will lose your head permanently? »

« Just look »  he replied, pushing him lightly on the stairs.

Harvey shook his head but approached the door cautiously « I do not see anyone alone and with a book for the moment » he commented as he tiptoed to see well.

His expression changed suddenly, his eyes widened, then he bit his lip as he tried not to laugh. He had to lean one arm against the door frame to keep from laugh until he cried.

« What's up? » Jim said; he could not understand what was so funny.

« Jim, you can not understand how much I thank you for taking me with you. If I had not seen it with my own eyes, I would never have believed you »

« Can you explain yourself? » Jim asked, more nervous as he began to climb the stairs.

« Well, let's say you're really unlucky in the sentimental field » he wanted to say it in a serious tone, but he could not stop himself from grinning.

Gordon still did not understand and it was only when he was in front of the door and the maid moved away freeing the view, who noticed Oswald Cobblepot, sitting alone at a table with a book that clearly was "The catcher in the rye" on the cover.

He stared at the scene for a while, before turning around and down the stairs. He was speechless.

« You know, I thought you had a special bond with him from the days of the pier » Harvey said. He expected that Jim would eventually burst into laughter too, but his expression, serious and not at all amused, made him desist.

« Are you ok? » He asked, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder.

« I do not ... I have to take a walk » he said only, before starting to walk.

« And do you left him here alone?  » Harvey asked, while Jim was walking away through the streets of Gotham.

***** * *****

An hour later,  Oswald was still seated at the table, he kept picking up the book and putting it back, turning it so that it was clearly visible. He had already drank two cocktails and yelled at the waitress who had tried to take away the second seat.

He had already lived a scene like this, when he had waited all night for Ed to join him for dinner, only to find out that he had met that Isabelle. He nervously tapped his fingers on the tablecloth; it had not been his idea, so why was the stranger not here?

The door of the restaurant was opened and Oswald grimaced. Of all the people he could meet, he didn’t need  Jim Gordon. He hid his head behind the book, hoping not to be noticed.

« Cobblepot ? »

Oswald looked up annoyed. Why he could not just ignore him and go drinking, eating or whatever he had to do?

« Yes, it's me. Goodbye, Captain » he replied, hoping to close every conversation. Instead, the presence next to him showed no signs of moving and Oswald felt almost blushing.

« Problems? » He continued, his voice less convinced.

« What are you doing here? »

« What an idiot question is it? »  Oswald snapped.

« Are you waiting for some gangsters? » He said, pointing to the empty seat in front of him.

« Relax, Jim. Why do not you go and arrest some old-ladies snatcher? »

Gordon did not reply anything; hands in his pocket, moved from Oswald's table to sit exactly at the table behind his, back to back .

« Are you kidding me? » Oswald asked, approaching the chair at his table, so that his back would not touch that of Jim.

« It's a free place »

Oswald shook his head and began tapping his fingers on the table. The door was opened again but an old lady came in and he did not hold back a sigh of despair.

« Are not you waiting for her, isn't it?  » Gordon asked, turning to face him.

« Jim, what do you want? »

The tone struck Gordon; he found himself speechless for a moment. He did not even know why he had finally returned to the restaurant and entered; perhaps he was simply curious, he wanted felt how it was to be close to Oswald, knowing that he was Gotham_152, reconnecting all the things he had written to him.

He did not know how to handle it, but when Oswald gave him a sad look, that of someone tired of being continually disappointed, he felt like slapped.

What was he supposed to do?

He did not want to tell him it was JW_Gotham, What would have been the point?? They would not have been able to have dinner quietly talking about this and that .

« I did not want to bother you, Oswald »  he replied in a quieter tone. « Sorry » he added, before got up, brushing Oswald shoulder with his fingers and leaving.

Oswald felt his eyes burn, he was still ten minutes and then he got up from his chair, wearily. When he arrived home, he rushed to the computer to check if he had received an e-mail from JW_Gotham but there was no communication. For a moment he had hoped he 'd sent a justification, something, but nothing.

He prepared to go to sleep, hoping that the next day he would have forgotten everything, when he heard the sound of the dog running towards him, and Martin behind him.

He should have scolded him because he was still standing late, but he was fighting back tears so he preferred to hug Martin and thank that there was still someone who really cared for him.


	4. Iceberg Lounge, I'm coming!

He had overheard two agents talking about it, chatters in front of the coffee machine: Dr. Lee Thompinkswas getting married to an architect from the eastcoast.

From what he could have understood, Lee had definitely moved to Los Angeles, she had had the courage to do what he had never been able to: leave Gotham and start over. He could not tell if what made him suffer was to have lost her again or lost the idea of what could have been. In any case, Lee was now a closed chapter, but her memory did not stop tormenting him.

Jim took the news and locked himself in his office; he had thought of Lee sometimes but he believed, he hoped, that now all news about her would have left him indifferent.Instead, it was not like that.Until two days ago, he would have opened the PC and vented every thought writing to Gotham_152, but he no longer had that consolatory relationship.

Jim had not reopened the emails anymore. He was ashamed, he did not have the courage to look at what Gotham_152, or rather Oswald, had written to him after the missed meeting. Maybe he had not even written, perhaps he had taken it better than he thought.

Maybe.

Only two days had passed and yet he could not stop thinking about how suddenly his life was empty without his precious e-mails.He had jumped into his work and had also been very profitable, yet the feeling of unease showed no signs of fading.

Harvey had noticed his restlessness, so he had tried to disturb him as little as possible; he knew Jim enough to see that it was better to leave him when he was in a bad mood, but when he realized who had just joined the GCPD, he thought it was better to go to notify the Captain personally.

As usual, he entered the office of Gordon without too much formality.

« Captain, news»

Jim looked up at Harvey and gave a hasty nod to sit down and tell but Bullock did not move, thus attracting Gordon's attention.

« What's up? »

« Your boyfriend is out here »  he answered with an ironic smile.

Jim's gaze went from puzzled to embarrassment when he saw, from the corner of his eye, the silhouette of Penguin from behind his office door. Harvey barely held a laugh and before Gordon could insult him, Oswald was already knocking.

« I leave you alone »  Harvey added, opening the door to let Oswald enter.

« Cobblepot » Harvey greeted him, with a grin that was clumsily trying to hide.

« Bullock » he replied, avoiding asking questions about Harvey's "gentle" behavior.

Jim began to observe him. He had not seen him since the evening of dinner and it was even stranger to come face to face with his e-mail friend, especially since Oswald did not know it. He was fine, at least apparently. He was dressed elegant as usual, he had the usual arrogant air with which he entered the GCPD, yet he seemed a note of melancholy in his eyes.

Or maybe he had always had it, and only now did he look at him with different eyes?

He felt uncomfortable and began to move in his chair, as if suddenly he could no longer find a comfortable position.

In the meantime, Oswald also sat and was looking at him with a perplexed expression.

« Everything all right, James ?»

« Of course. What do you need Oswald? » He replied, avoiding looking into his eyes because he could not return that gaze.

« I did not come earlier because I had to decide what to do » he began to speak, and Gordon noticed that he was worried.

« I wanted to talk to you about Martin » he continued, and his whole posture softened, as if he was unburden himself.

« Of course, Martin the kid. Is it still at your place?»

« Yes, this is the point. You did not tell anyone, I hope. In short, they have already kidnapped him once to get to me. As long as I'm not sure how to handle his security, the news that lives with me should not leak out. Not even with Bullock »

« If I had told Harvey, everybody would all know it now »  he replied, snatching a slight laugh at Oswald. It was increasingly strange to think that he had had all those conversations by e-mail with him, thoughts that he had never revealed to anyone. He remained silent, remembering how many times he had written something just to make him laugh and he had found himself wondering what the sound of the stranger’s laughter was.

Here, he knew it now.

« I know it may seem wrong that a gangster relieves a kid, but he'll be better than in an orphanage »

They had talked about Martin in the mail, even if he did not know he was talking about him " _I do not know what advice to give, at his age I was already an outsider while I hope in a better future for him_ " he had written. He felt himself some touched or something. Now that he knew that the author of the mail was Oswald, everything took shape and had sense and at the same time everything was increasingly strange because he had never realized how Oswald was, beyond the life of the city's Boss. Or maybe he had never wanted to see how him was.

« Are you sure you're ok? » Oswald said, before getting up without notice and move his hand on Jim’s forehead. He took a moment to realize what Oswald was doing and the only thing he could say was a strange « hey ».

Oswald settled back, perplexed « No, you don’t’ have fever »

« What the hell? »  He answered, touching his forehead in turn.

« My mother controlled it if I had the flu »

« Also mine and I believe all the mothers of the world »

« You're strange and you have “fever eyes" »  he replied, shrugging his shoulders under the increasingly puzzled look of Jim.

« And how would be like fever eyes, Doctor?»

« Look in the mirror and you'll see them, Jim »

Gordon laughed and for a moment he was tempted to say something about his secret identity of JW_Gotham. He opened his mouth several times, but no sound came out and it was fortunate that Harvey decided to enter just then.

« I do not want to bother you, but we have an urgent matter »  he announced seriously.

« No problem, we're done » Oswald stood up from his chair and walked past Harvey, returning the previous greeting with an ironic "Bullock".

Jim had a strange look actually, Harvey noticed him immediately and before talking to him about the latest, unpleasant news, he approached him spontaneously and gave him a pat on the back  « I’m sorry »

« For what?»

« For laughing, the other night and today. I did not understand »

Jim looked up, confused  «  I'm not following you, honestly »

« I did not realize you were really in love with Gotham_152 »

Jim started to reply but he was not even sure what to say exactly. It was evident that a multitude of feelings had overwhelmed him since he had discovered that his friend, almost virtual boyfriend, was Oswald Cobblepot and denying it would be silly. But could he talk about love? He felt a chill at the thought.

» What did you want to talk to me about? »

« I hope you have not just eaten.A carnage awaits us in one of the abandoned buildings of the Fifth Street »

A carnage was what he wanted to stop thinking about his conflicting feelings.

 

**** * ****

 

Alcohol, it was what he needed. He had already had two drinks with Harvey but it was not enough.A madman who had slaughtered dozens of people leaving the bodies dismembered and no clue and the news that Lee was getting married again, had been added to the stresses, to the blank nights, to the ordinary crimes. In addition, of course, to the whole affair of Oswald and Gotham_152.

After examining the scene of the massacre, Jim and Bullock had locked themselves in a bar, a few chats and nothing more.Harvey, obviously, had not realized how much Gordon had reached the limit, he had no idea of Lee, Jim had not mentioned it and he had avoided any talk about Oswald, not knowing how to deal with the matter. Bullock had left him in the front of the house; he was convinced that Jim would have immediately jumped in bed, instead he went out a few minutes later looking for a bar and a way to forget.

Gotham was very changed and finding bars open until late became increasingly difficult. After drinking an entire bottle of whiskey the bartender drove him badly out of the room so he could finally close the gate of his bar.

He needed a place that was open until dawn, he could not think of anything but to cancel every brain faculty. His gaze fell on a wall and in particular on a faded poster. His mind was rather clouded but not so much that he did not recognize the effigy of the iceberg lounge. It was only a few steps from the Oswald club, a place that was sure to be open until late.He dragged himself until he saw the luminous sign and the people huddled in the queue to get in.

« Iceberg Lounge, I’m coming » he mumbled, before heading for the entrance.

 

**** * ****

 

He was lying on something soft, a material that looked like leather or something similar. Something that could be a blanket or a plaid was above him. He was not completely awake and he felt a very strong hangover headache.

He opened his eyes with difficulty and almost gave up a scream when he found a child staring curiously at him. It took him a while to understand that the boy was Martin and he was probably lying on a sofa on the upper floors of the Iceberg Lounge.

The child ran away  and Jim tried to sit up. The room had a very chic decor but at the same time almost fearful. Oswald's extravagant taste was overflowing with everything.

He began to rub his head, trying to remember how he had arrived on that sofa but the last image in his head was the poster of the Iceberg Lounge, then the dark.

As he looked around strangely, an unmistakable sound of footsteps announced the entry of the landlord himself into the living room.

« Oh, good morning, sleepyhead »

Jim wanted to reply but his throat was so dry that only a cough came out.

« Here » Oswald said, handing him a glass where an aspirin was still melting.

Oswald bit his lip, he had seen Jim so many times behave out of line, be self-destructive, but breaking into his club completely drunk was far beyond the ordinary.

« How did I get here? »

Oswald sat down next to him, without stopping to study him « I was not present from the beginning but it seems you entered the club by knocking down one of my men. If I had not arrived in time you would have more than a few bruises »

« What? »

« You didn't see yourself »

Jim closed his eyes, trying to remember; in fact he had exaggerated, but he did not believe that he was so devastated that he was reduced to starting fights in fashionable clubs. He threw the aspirin down in one shot, hoping it would work as soon as possible, and soon the sense of noise would be a distant memory.

« Thanks, anyway »

Oswald made a sound that sounded like a mixture of laughter and snort;it was so rare to hear Jim Gordon say "thank you", especially to him, who felt slight warmth in his chest, like an old feeling never quite asleep.

« Everything for an old friend »

He wanted to add a lot of things, especially to start an interrogation on why he had been reduced that way, if he could help him, what was in the city that troubled him so much, but he did not want to ruin the moment receiving a typical James Gordon rude response.

He was left with one hand in midair, uncertain whether to make a consoling gesture, like a pat on the shoulder or a light caress on the arm but he felt foolish, after all Gordon had never accepted such close proximity to him.

While he was still undecided about what to do, Olga came in with the breakfast cart, now practically a brunch given the time and the amount of food, and she stared with a strange air before Mr.Cobblepot and then Gordon.

« Is him the internet boyfriend? » She asked.

Oswald's color went from pale to red within a second. He was so embarrassed that he dared not look at Jim's reaction; if he did, he would have noticed that he too had blushed and could never have guessed why. Olga had got it right and Oswald did not even know it.

« This is Captain Gordon, Olga » he replied, emphasizing his friend's name and rank.

The woman shrugged « I do not understand why you don’t not call someone to find the mystery man, searching the IP or something else. It could easily find him »  

« Olga, we have already talked about it »

« Call Nygma, he was pretty nerd to know how to do it. Maybe he gets jealous »

Oswald felt the embarrassment grow with every word from Olga. He had not long wanted to die from shame, not since he had become the King of Gotham, but at that moment, with Jim sitting next to him listening how pathetic he was, he just wanted to get up and going in his bedroom as when he was a teenager.

Gordon actually wanted to die from shame. Oswald had spoken of him, or rather of JW_Gotham, to his housekeeper, probably with the same enthusiasm with which he spoke to Harvey of Gotham_152 and he had not even dared to reveal himself.

Olga placed the trays on the table in front of them, under Oswald's annoyed gaze and left the room without another word.

« Well, now you know. I was waiting for him the other night at Serendipity » Oswald snapped, as whether to confess all and it immediately avoided him further embarrassments.

« Oh » was Jim's only reaction. « So you're not going to call Ed to find this guy's IP? »

« Oh please. I already hear the echo of his laughter »

Jim smiled but he felt terribly guilty. As soon as he got home he would have gone to read if Oswald had written to him and what.

« I do not want to search for him through hackers because this wasn't the way that the relationship was supposed to go » he exhaled and Jim felt his heart beat faster « It had to be normal, without manipulation, or me hiring hackers to flush it out. If he doesn’t want me I just have to deal with it » the voice was slightly broken at the end of the sentence and Jim found it natural to move a hand over his.

« Well » he continued, as if he was encouraged by that gesture « He saw me probably, he didn’t like me and he want nothing of me. What would be the point of looking for him, to be rejected again?»

« No, that's not it »  Jim replied, and Oswald turned to look at him « I mean, I don’t think he saw you and went away. Maybe he had some problems, so we are in Gotham, the city of problems »

What was he doing? Without realizing it, he was encouraging Oswald to hope for something that he had broken off. He was a hopeless disaster.

« Yeah »  Oswald exhaled  « Trouble... he had a flat tire, there was a flood, the locusts... stuff  like this? »

Gordon laughed. He did not know how Oswald managed to be sarcastic even when he was sad, but he did very well.

« I wrote to him to know if something had happened but he never replied to me.I would say it's over » he replied.

Jim remained silent; he did not know what to say, when he suddenly remembered Oswald's dinner, the one he had so badly tamped with.

He could go to the dinner of all the candidates so as not to seem to have any preferences, assuming Barbara would have a dinner.

« Oswald, look, for that dinner you were talking to me about. I would not bring with me the whole GCPD, it seems too official, but I could come »

Oswald blinked several times. « Are you sure you're fine, Jim? »

« Do you want to check my fever again ? » he answered with an almost malicious tone that astonished him too. He did not know what mess he's going to be hunting but he already felt lighter.

 

 


	5. Riddle me this

_"Dear_ _JW_Gotham_ _,_

 _I hope_ _you are well._ _I am a bit 'worried actually, Gotham is not an easy city and so I assumed the worst when you didn’t show up_ _on_ _the date._

 _I_ _do not_ _care if you changed your mind in the end and you prefer that our friendship remains online, it’s fine with me._ _I would just like to hear from you again._

 _All of these mails have meant a lot to me._ _I trusted, I opened myself a lot with you; of course, not at all, I did not tell you my name, my job ... but I told you so_ _much things_ _that I would not tell_ _anybody_ _else._

_I do not know if you will read this email but if you still want, I'm here._

_With love, Gotham_152"_

Jim had read those few lines, over and over again. He had sketched out a reply, erased it, rewrote it, and erased it again.

What to do? Why was he always going to get himself into complicated situations?

He moved into the kitchen to make himself a tea, he would have reasoned better with something hot in his stomach.

He went back to reading the old mails and he realized that he had been a very bad detective: Gotham_152 had talked about his mother, about complicated childhood, about success in business. The e-mails shouted "Oswald" in every word, yet he did not understand it, because he never wanted to see him in that light.

Oh yeah? Every time he saved Oswald, he let him go even if he was guilty.

" _I'm not very lucky with romantic relationships. First time I had focused everything on someone who could never love me, I wanted at least we were friends but things got a little strange. Then I met him, he was nice to me, so I thought maybe he liked me, too_ " The nice one with Oswald was definitely Ed and he found himself snorting loudly. Ed came out in the most unlikely situations: he had stuck him and sent him to Blackgate, he killed people leaving riddles for fun, he allied with Barbara and eventually he was with Lee.

« Oswald, you can do better » he said to himself, before returning to the first part of the mail, about someone who could never love Oswald but at least could have remained his friend. He seemed to see the sad expression of Penguin, eyes wide and hopeful when he called him "old friend".

He had to answer him; to leave him like that was not right and after all, he himself needed it. He wanted to have that glimpse of the world again just for him and Gotham_152. Maybe he was a little selfish of him but he had not yet decided how to deal with the real Oswald.

" _Dear Gotham_152,_

 _I'm sorry_ _for everything._ _For this silence, for not having come._ _It's complicated, I wanted to be there for you, but I'm still here, if you still_ _want it._ _Write me, tell me, I miss you_ "

It was not exactly what he thought, it was only the summary of the summary; even he was not able to understand his feelings and did not know what could be the best solution. Yet he wanted so much that Oswald answered him. A sigh escaped him as the rain began to tick on the windows of his apartment. He was alone, he had ruined every relationship he had or had slipped in well knowing that it would end badly and he did not know how to handle his feelings.

He was about to close the computer when the notification of a new email left him open-mouthed. He was almost afraid to click on the icon, he feared that Gotham_152 would send him to hell and after all he deserved it.

He opened the mail, ready for any content he would find and  he got even more guilty at the end.

" _Dear_ _JW_Gotham_ _,_

 _I_ _'m glad to read something from you again._

 _I admit it was not pleasant sitting there alone._ _This at least until an old friend has decided to enter and make it even more depressing._

 _I like talking to you and I hope to hear from you soon_ "

It was short, as his e-mail at last; he could hear the tone of voice of Oswald also through the pc, that of a broken person, once again.

He would have made amends, at dinner he would have told Oswald everything and he would have been kind, Oswald deserved it.

 

***** *****

 

Oswald could not sleep because the email had upset him to the point of taking his sleep. It was Oswald Cobblepot, the King of the Underworld, what would the other people have said if they had known that their Boss was upset by a virtual relationship?

"My heart is my greatest weakness"

He snorted loudly, could not understand why things had once seemed so simple and obvious and now they had become so difficult.

When he worked for Fish and for Falcone he had never been distracted by such feelings, but every time he reached the top he felt alone, incomplete, as if he had everything and at the same time he had nothing. It was not enough for him to be the King, he wanted someone to share his life with. Since Martin was back already began to feel better, perhaps he would have had to settle for that feeling and that's it, he had  to stop hoping for something different.

JW_Gotham had been the last straw, yet another disappointment. Now he had reappeared but Oswald was less happy than he would have believed. It was not a real thing, it was not like sitting on the couch with Jim Gordon.

He had just closed his eyes and that thought suddenly opened them again « Why the hell are you thinking about Jim Gordon?!  » He found himself wondering aloud. He turned on other side and he began to think of anything that was not the Captain of the GCPD; the phase in which he fell asleep daydreaming on Jim was over a long time ago and he had sworn he would never be back.

The next day he was still suffering from the few hours of sleep.

To organize dinner for fundraising and presentation of the definitive program for the city became every second more stressful. It seemed like everyone was trying to make him lose patience, even though it was a rather dangerous choice.

He had in front of a plan with the arrangement of the tables and kept moving the names so as to have the perfect table but there was a name that could not decide where to place: James Gordon.

Did he really want him at his table? And if Jim had glared in case the speech was not to his liking? No, better to put him somewhere else. But it was Gordon, he would have liked to have him beside him.

He felt stupid to think of such a thing again, after only the night before he had sworn he would not think of Jim anymore; he could not fall back into the trap, hoping that Jim really appreciate him, that they could be friends, maybe they would go out together. All those thoughts had been stored long ago, when Gordon had left him in Arkham under the care of Hugo Strange.

He was still busy erasing and rewriting the names on the plan, when Edward Nygma entered in the Iceberg Lounge. Oswald looked up and nodded, a mixture of "hello" and "goodbye" at the same time, but he knew that if Ed had something to say to him, he would not have discouraged an apparent indifference.

Ed did not speak right away, maybe he was a little disappointed with Oswald's attitude, he regretted the times when they all agreed on almost everything. He looked around, the iceberg lounge was impressive, you could say that Oswald had reached the top; he had accomplished more than they had dreamed when they lived together. Then his eyes fell on the electoral posters and he could not hold back a grimace.

« Are you serious about this election story? »

« Ed, I heard that they're looking for someone to write crosswords for the newspaper; You could get a job »

Nygma laughed « Do not be so sour; obviously I prefer you as mayor that the boyscout who give for a favorite. However I wanted to offer something fun, like old times »

Oswald looked up slightly, Ed was euphoric and once that attitude would have made him "electric" too but now he had no time for anything he wanted to propose.

« I have a brilliant idea to make money and, as a bonus, to mock the GCPD »  he announced with his usual theatrics. Oswald shook his head, once they were on the same wave line but then Edward had decided that being a respectable criminal was suffocating  him, he wanted to become the terror of Gotham, a super villain and he had ceased to be compatible with the idea of Oswald of order for the city.

« I don’t care»

« Why not? It would also be useful to you. More funds and the demonstration that the GCPD  doesn’t know what it’s doing » he added, but his smile soon died from his face when he saw the name of James Gordon on the map of the tables for the dinner of the future Mayor.

« Tell me you're not serious. Jim Gordon? »

« He's the police captain, Ed »

« He's an incompetent an you make googly eyes at him, as usual » he corrected and Oswald felt blaze.

« I do not ...»

« Do you remember when we first met at GCPD? When you have not calculated me to do heart face to Gordon? »

« It's been five years ago, Ed. But above all, I 'm not interested in Jim or your plan »

Ed remained dumbfounded; he had expected more enthusiasm, more a return to the old days, before absurd feelings ruined their collaboration. Oswald moved to the bar counter, just to give Edward something to drink before he left; he had not time to argue with him and he did not even want to.

Nygma continued to stare at the name of Gordon at the Penguin’s dinner table; he was annoyed that for one reason or another Jim was always in the middle: Gordon had arrested Oswald just when he needed a mentor, he had slammed to Arkahm for murder of Miss Kringle, and then there was the whole story of Lee.

Oswald was still fumbling with bottles and glasses when Martin and the puppy broke into the great hall. The child seemed really happy to see Ed, he didn’t meet him since his rescue and he was particularly grateful.

« Ed, stop it! » All of a sudden Oswald shouted.

« I'm not doing anything » Nygma replied. He was well aware of Oswald's nervous shots but they were usually motivated, he did not start shouting out of nowhere.

« I was not talking to you, but to the dog » Oswald nodded at the puppy which was pleasantly biting one of the club chairs. Ed looked from the dog to Oswald several times with outraged expression « Did you call him like me? »

Martin laughed and Oswald gave an ironic smile « He has your own intelligent expression » he said, while the bulldog puppy, as if he understood that they were talking about him, stopped biting the chair.

Edward wanted to argue but Oswald was distracted by the cell phone ringing. He moved into another room to answer, leaving Ed staring at his namesake.

He shook his head, understood that he would have no help from Oswald. He turned to greet the little Martin with a pat on the head.

« Are you okay anyway? »

The boy nodded but Ed noticed immediately that he looked worried.

« What's wrong? »

Martin took the pen and began to write fast on his notebook, before turning it to Ed who seemed really interested.

" _Oswald is sad, I'm worried_ "

« Why? »

Martin was undecided whether or not to reveal his concerns to Edward, but if Penguin had trusted him, he would not think there was any reason to fear anything.

" _He had a virtual friend_ "

« What? Oswald who has a friend on the internet? That’s funny »

" _Can you find him?_ _Olga says you can do it_ "

« Let's say you've rather intrigued me, where is Oswald's PC? »

 


	6. he's not like you

Oswald hung up the phone and returned to the salon, where only the puppy was waiting for him. He was almost happy that Ed had got out of his way, with all the problems he was facing, he had no time to discuss absurd plans. His final purpose was not chaos, it was order and the Riddler was very far from the order.

He went upstairs to look for Martin; he had neglected him in recent times and the next day it would take place the electoral dinner and he would not be able to have a little bit of time for the child. He noticed a light burning in his study, Martin knew he could not get in there and he was usually quite obedient so it took him less than a second to figure out who had entered his office.

He opened the door with a snort. « Ed, what are you doing? »

Edward was sitting on the desk waiting for Oswald, showing off a particularly ironic smile. Penguin glared at him; whatever Ed had in mind, made him extremely nervous.

« Oh, Oswald. You are so tender. You never learn from your mistakes » he said, coming down from the landlord's expensive desk. He took a few steps toward him, smoothing his clothes « Or should I say Gotham_152? » Just as long he said this, followed by an ironic laugh, Oswald slammed him against the wall grabbing him by the jacket « Give me a good reason not to call Victor »

Edward did not move an eyelash; he was happy to see again a bit of sprint in Oswald, he preferred when he looked like a killer than he looked like a businessman « I wonder if this mysterious JW_Gotham would love your swinging mood »

Oswald tightened Ed's jacket harder « Do not talk about him, none of your business »

« Oh yes, who am I in comparison with the man of the mystery that doesn't show up for appointments. Ah no, sorry, I did that too »

A punch, straight to the jaw and Ed was on the ground. Oswald stared at his hand, he had never raised his hands on Ed, it was the first time it had happened and it had been so liberating that he found himself laughing while Nygma was cheking the damage. Fortunately nothing broken, but a bruised bruise would soon emerge.

Unexpectedly Oswald offered him a hand to get back on his feet and Ed, despite having just been knocked out, appreciated the gesture.

« He's not like you, Ed »  

« No, definitely. In fact, I could say that it is just the opposite, even if I have this feeling that we have very similar tastes » he answered with a mischievous smile. Oswald could also ignore who was his online friend, but to Ed it was enough to read the emails to understand the secret identity. He could not be anyone else that Jim Gordon.

« Similar tastes?  » He asked, perplexed.

«  Does not it seem strange? It could be anyone. Maybe Harvey Bullock » he replied, bursting out laughing at Oswald's disgusted expression.

« You've had your laugh, Ed. If there's nothing else ... » Oswald made an eloquent gesture toward the door that did not admit replies.

« No, you're right. I have to go; I just had an idea even more brilliant. I'm sorry you don’t want to take part of it but you'll like it  » he came up with a twinkle in his eyes that  greatly unsettled Oswald, who instead of react and give him a blow on the head to prevent him to do something very stupid, remained as paralyzed.

When he finally realized he could not remain passive to Ed's risky plans, he immediately called Zsasz .

« Victor, follow Ed and if he does something that could damage me, stop him ! »

« What exactly does it mean “stop him”? »

« Alive, Zsasz! »

***** * *****

Jim was back at the headquarters, now he seemed to live there forever, it was his home while his apartment was just the place where he slept. Maybe he could do better than that.

Harvey simulated a cough and Jim was forced to turn his attention.

« I have something to say to you and you will not like it »

« Tell me »

« The Commissioner is very worried about a re-election of Penguin, so he supports the other candidate, mr. Grant, and he wants the GCPD to be present at his dinner, tonight »

Jim grimaced   « What? I promised Oswald we would not take sides »

« Well, you'll have to disappoint him. It's not a good month for Penguin, is it? » Harvey added, trying to decipher the reaction of Gordon.

Jim shook his head, it wasn't meant to be like this.

Harvey opened his mouth several times, unsure whether to ask his friend what had been on his mind for some time « Have you written to him? »

Jim avoided Bullock's eyes « What do you want to know, Harvey? »

« Nothing, nothing. I was just curious »  he replied, the tone was unmistakably that of when he was in a bad mood. He seemed tense but was inscrutable as usual and Bullock was really sorry, he had seen him happier when he wrote to his virtual friend and since it had all faded Gordon was back  in the usual sadness.

« Ready to go out in ten minutes, Captain »  Bullock announced, before closing the door to Gordon's office and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Half an hour later Gordon was at the party organized by the new candidate. The room was sumptuous but sober, very different from what it was expected to find at Oswald's dinner. He had avoided all the photographers, as if to avoid being immortalized at the party was a way to apologize to Penguin.

The new candidate, this Grant, looked like a fine person, really a new hope, but Jim felt terribly guilty about being there.

He had not paid much attention to what was happening around him. The dinner was pleasant, Harvey was enjoying it, he had even exchanged the number with one of the maids, the only unhappy seemed to be just him.

He began to to write a text message to Oswald, something kind to which Penguin would rethink when he would know that almost all of the GCPD was at his rival's dinner, when an explosion towards the front door, followed by screams brought his attention and that of everyone present.

Several explosions followed in the hall, small explosives, nothing serious. Gordon and the other agents began to get people out of the back, when the last explosion flooded the hall with green. Just long enough to realize that they were in the dark and when, a minute later, the light returned, question marks appeared on the walls.

« The Riddler » Harvey snorted.

« Why this show? Just to ruin dinner? » Gordon said, looking around in perplexity.

A voice rose from the crowd « They stole the donation money! »

« You got your answer, Jimbo »

« All right, GCPD, hold up! »

***** * *****

Victor ran into the Cobblepot office without being announced, he was excited and immediately had to report « Boss, a real mess »

Oswald, who was playing chess with Martin, gave a quick nod to the child who realized he had to go and play in the other room.

« In practice Ed stole money from your rival's fundraiser, under the eyes of the GCPD, including Captain Gordon»

Oswald rolled his eyes. A mixture of fun and worry assailed him. As far as his rival was concerned, he was glad that he had been put in his place, after all his fundraisers had gone bad just because Mr. Perfect came out. The problem was the GCPD and especially Gordon, because there was no need to be a visionary to know that he had not taken it well.

« Is not it good news? » Zsasz churches, studying the frown of his boss.

« It depends and I believe we will know it soon »

« Why? »

Victor had just finished expressing his perplexity when one of Oswald's henchmaen appeared in the office to report that Captain Gordon had arrived.

« You may go, Victor »  Oswald said, preparing himself for whatever Jim wanted.

Gordon entered the room with an indecipherable expression, he went straight to the chair in front of Penguin's desk and sat down without a word.

He looked tired, but he always was recently; the last time Oswald had seen a glimpse of joy in him he had been when he had proposed to come to his dinner. Oswald had tried not to think about James anymore, to concentrate on business, but that's it Jim Gordon continued to arouse feelings in him that he would like to forget forever. He hated being stunned when Jim's blue eyes met his, it was all wrong, it no longer had to be like that.

It continued to happen, the hands trembled slightly when Gordon appeared in his life, a mixture of love and rage overwhelmed him and there was nothing he could do to stop those emotions.

Jim cleared his throat and Oswald gave a faint breath, before he heard what Jim wanted to say.

« You know, I try to trust you, every time » he seemed broken, and Oswald felt almost guilty, even though he had done nothing.

« Before you start your theater of false accusations, I have nothing to do with it »

« So it's a coincidence that Ed was here this afternoon and that Zsasz was his lookout at the party "

« Victor didn’t stand guard and how do you know that Ed was here? Are you checking up on me? »

Jim gave a skeptical laugh « What happened? Ed came here, a little talk and in the end you decided to go back to the glorious old days when you were thick as thieves? »

« Jim, the only Ed I care about is my dog, I do not know anything about Nygma. Victor was there because I was afraid he was doing something stupid. Do not blame me if your men are not even able to stop a robbery. And then, how was the story that the GCPD does not support any candidate? »

Jim grimaced when he remembered that Oswald's dog was named Ed. He figured he was going to punch him again, as happened to Narrow when he was kidnapped and, for a moment, he felt better.

« Do not trying to blame-shift, Oswald. Why have you talked to Ed again? » Gordon snapped with the result that Oswald stood up, towering over him.

« Are you here to arrest me, Jim? it would be the umpteenth time that you arrest me for a crime I did not commit »

« Oh, poor innocent victim! » He commented sarcastically « So if  I arrest Ed is not a problem for you? »

Oswald rolled his eyes. « Why does it always have to be so complicated with you? It's a continuous up and down that does not lead anywhere! And I'm sick of you. Arrest me or go to the hell, Jim Gordon! »

Gordon remained seated, unperturbed, had played too often that back-and-forth, to worry about it.

He stood up  and they looked at each other for the last time before leaving the office.

Oswald had to breathe deeply several times to calm down, but he could not calm himself, he always ended up like that, with Ed deceiving him and mocking him and Jim accusing him of something. He was tired and tired of the repetition of this scheme; he had to immediately interrupt it.

« Chief? » Victor knocked on the door, uncertain whether Penguin had still need him.

« Not now, Victor »  he shouted, waving a hand in the air. « Rather, go look for Ed. I have to talk to him »

« Talk to him? We could not eliminate him permanently? » Victor asked, imagining what it would be nice to not always have the same problems.

« If I had to kill everyone who betrayed me you would be among the first on the list, Victor. No, I want to know why he practically bring me into this » he answered seriously.

Victor lifted his hands, as a sign of fake surrender « Ok, Boss. I'm going to look for the green elf »

Oswald still had one thing to do, he wanted to let off steam and there was only one person he could contact.

" _Dear JW_Gotham ,_

_I decided that this will be my last email to you. This our "relationship" was born by chance, because I am too discouraged to go out and look for someone who can be my friend. I thought you were but after all, I don't know you, I don't know who you are and I'm not going to repeat once again the usual script in which I'm just wondering why it always ends up like that._

_Even today, yet another proof, first comes up Ed (yes, I call him by name, I do not care even anonymity), the one with the name of my dog, who believes he can still laugh at me and my unnecessary feelings. Then Jim comes out, all I ever wanted was just to be friends; as usual, instead of trying to believe me, he preferred to accuse me of things I didn't do, when just the day before it seemed that there was still some remote hope of something different. I am so pathetic that I would have accepted anything from him, but I can not even have friendship._

_And then, you have written me for months and then you have disappeared into thin air! You didn’t show up for dinner that you organized yourself!!! Cruel, I can't think another adjective. But you probably found better things to do. If I did not know that Dr. Thompkins no longer lives in Gotham, I would think you came out with her._

_Conclusion: relationships are not for me. I prefer to go back to my business._

_Goodbye my dear friend_ ”.

 


	7. Sitting on the dock of the bay

« Follow Victor Zsasz, I heard Cobblepot order him to go look for the Riddler » Gordon shouted as soon as he set foot on the GCPD. He did not know if he was more annoyed because Ed had mocked them in front of everyone or because he feared that Oswald was somehow involved.

The word jealousy passed several times in his mind but he drove off  it as he would have kicked off an annoying fly; he did not even want to delve into the idea that Oswald had helped Ed to mock him and the GCPD, but especially him, and then the plan blew up in his face, forcing him to send Zsasz to look for the traitor.

It was nonstop to draw near and to lose with Oswald. Since he had known him, they had left so many times and then they found themselves back at the starting point; but this time he felt there was something more at stake.

He walked over to his office, ignoring Bullock's gaze, the look of one who knew he had gone to question Penguin and Harvey guessed it must have been hard for Jim after the last few days.

He sat down at his desk and he noticed in amazement a new mail in the mailbox. The heartbeat began to accelerate, it was strange to think that Oswald wrote to him after what had happened, with all the problems he had. It was as if he always had time for him. He felt terribly guilty and frustrated and when he finished reading the mail he felt even worse.

Gotham_152 was done with him and Oswald was done with everyone. He had risked, he had tried to let go, to trust again and he was disappointed as usual. Jim knew he was primarily responsible for Oswald's current unhappiness, but at that moment he just wanted to vent everything he was feeling against Ed. He hoped to find him soon and be able to beat him to Arkham forever, as he deserved.

He left the office with a feeling of melancholy on him but ready to turn Gotham upside down to find the Riddler, when Harvey ran to him and met him cheerfully, taking him by the shoulders.

« Jimbo, guess what? We have arrested Nygma »

Gordon blinked several times « How did it happen? »

« I don’t know, he hid in the Narrow and someone snitched. He no longer enjoys popularity »

Jim shook his head, it was unlikely that Ed would get caught so easily but the only way to understand his intentions was to go to talk to him directly.

Ed was sitting in the interrogation room, waiting, not worried or impressed; he didn’t seem to have been captured by someone who had handed him over to them. It seemed like he was exactly where he wanted to be and it did not bode well.

« Jimbo, what a pleasure to see you » he smiled graciously, while Gordon sat in front of him keeping his eyes fixed.

« Where is the money, Ed? » He asked impatiently.

« If you have me, you want to share me. But if you share me, you lose me. What am I? »

«A secret »  Jim replied, crossing his arms. He had no intention of participating in a quiz.

« And you have one, do not you? Nice, big and embarrassing. I can not understand why. Do I really believe you fell in love with our little Oswald, or Gotham_152, or are you just kidding him? » eyes lit up as he stared at Gordon, who had only a slight tremor but kept the impassive gaze.

« Poor, naive Oswald. Maybe he does not know your middle name JW_Gotham, James Worthington Gordon. I guess you do not know that "152 " was the number of the street where he lived as a child. I do not think you ever bothered to talk to him except to ask him for favors » he noted that Jim was getting nervous, he had clenched his fists and kept staring straight into his eyes. He expected that he would soon beat him but that was not his goal or purpose.

« It's funny because reading emails is so obvious that it's you, but I guess Ozzy does not think you can care about him, even in the anonymity of the internet. Or maybe he thinks that you can just leave the house to pick up someone, why you bother to have virtual relationships? In any case, your secret is safe for now, I have not said anything to Penguin, I can not break his heart twice » he said almost conspiratorially approaching the desk that separated them.

Jim gave him an annoyed smile before taking him by the collar of his shirt « Why do you care, Ed? »

« I do not care, it's my pass, I 'll leave Gotham for a while. The proposal is this: or you let me go and stop chasing me for this robbery or, in two hours, one of my accomplice will publish all your e-mails. Without anonymity, of course »

Jim laughed an empty laugh and let go his collar; he wondered how Oswald and Lee could have fallen in love with Edward Nygma, a man who cared for anyone but himself.

« I was already going to tell Oswald everything and I do not care if it gets public, not if it means leaving you free » Jim said and he was getting up to get fresh air, to cool down before putting his hands on him again when Ed pounded the table, drawing his attention.

« Maybe Oswald cares, maybe he does not want the whole world of crime to know how tender his heart is. Maybe he does not want his enemies to know how much he cares about Martin or the voters know that  he makes  sweet eyes at the police captain instead of worrying about the city »

Jim opened his mouth to reply but could not answer anything. He could not let it go, not when it meant "looking away" to secure his personal interest, which in this case was Oswald. He did not want Oswald to be hurt again and humiliated but really he could not think that Nygma could get away with a stupid blackmail.

« Two hours, Jim. Tic-toc »

 

***** * *****

 

He had to talk to Oswald, tell him everything, explain the situation and then he did not even know what he would do. Perhaps he hoped that Oswald would tell him that he could not betray himself and leave Ed free, but that was a little too much. He still did not know that JW_Gotham was him, who had once again tricked him and had no excuse.

He moves towards the Icerber Lounge and fortunately did not have to argue with anyone of the security because despite the latest disagreements, he seemed to have earned the right to enter without problems. Another thing that made him feel guilty, Oswald that kept on giving him trust and him that it betrayed it.

As soon as he came upstairs, Martin ran to him and from the disappointed face he gave him, Jim realized that he was expecting another person, probably Oswald.

« Are you all right, boy? »

The kid shook his head and then began to write something on the notebook.

"Oswald went away angry. I heard he was going to the docks"

« To the docks? was he alone? »

Martin nodded and Jim was dumbfounded. Among all  places where he could go find it, the pier of Gotham was not among his favorites.

He patted the little boy gently and then ran to his car, he had no idea what was going on, but Oswald's "goodbye" mail really made him fear the worst.

It was only a twenty-minute drive to the port but it felt like an eternity, his hands trembling slightly on the steering wheel as he imagined all the possible reasons why Oswald moved towards the docks. Perhaps urgent business? Did he know anything about Ed's robbery? He could not help but think of Oswald writing the last mail, disappointed and bitter and then he left the house to go to the harbor alone. It made no sense.

He braked sharply when he arrived at the pier he knew well, the one where he had saved the life of Penguin on the first day they met and he noticed in the dark a figure that could only be Oswald. He was sitting on the edge and apparently staring at something in the river.

Jim approached slowly, he was not sure he would be well received; he also wanted to take the time of the walk to elaborate what to say. Not only he had to tell him that he was JW_Gotham, that he had not gone to the appointment after seeing that it was him, that he had not written for weeks because he was undecided about how to behave, but also he had to ask him to accept that their mails became public for the only purpose to arrest the Riddler.

Oswald heard the footsteps and turned abruptly, before reassuring himself seeing that it was Gordon.

« What are you doing here? » Jim sat down next to him. From the state in which his eyes were, he seemed to have cried and Jim felt even more guilty.

« I was looking for a place to throw my pc. It was not a great idea, tomorrow I'll have to buy another one » he replied with the usual irony that he kept even in the most desperate situations. Jim looked first at Oswald and then at the point in the middle of the river he was staring at, and in spite of everything he laughed.

« Did you come to arrest me? »

« No, I arrested Ed »

«"So now you believe me, good boy » he said colorless.

« Yes, Oswald. I believe you and in this regard ... »

Oswald interrupted him, turning to look at him » And you want what? Make excuses? »

Jim opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out.  

Oswald bowed his head «I'm tired of this game, Jim. It is better that our paths are divided forever »

« It's a bit difficult. We are always the Boss of the city and the Captain of the police » he tried, feeling stupid for every word he had spoken. It was not what he wanted to say but it was definitely what Oswald expected.

« It does not seem to me that Falcone and Essen were friends » he replied, giving him a sad smile.

« You are unusually calm »  Jim ascertained;  he was still looking for the right words to say.

« Would you prefer a rant? You think that'd help? » He replied, waving a hand as the tone of voice had risen by a few octaves.

Jim took hearth, he knew that once he would say everything, he would feel worse, not with a weight less but with an extra weight. He knew Oswald  and Gotham_152 enough to know that he would have felt mocked, he would not have wasted time to try to understand but he would have accused him of being the usual turnaround and he would have been right.

« I have to tell you something » he murmured;  the tone of his voice made Oswald suspicious that he looked at the detective better. All posture was rigid, the look was absent, probably absorbed in thought. He had not come here to apologize but to something worse, and he could not imagine what it could be.

« I'm listening » he said, taking a worried breath, before finding the courage to move a hand over Jim's « I know I just said the opposite but you know I've always been there for you »

Jim was lost for a moment in Oswald's crystalline eyes and at that moment he realized that he would never let the city laugh at him, at  his desire to be normal, to have someone to love, to have called a dog like a crush passed and to be a father to an orphan.

He squeezed Oswald's hand and approached him, so close that the heart of Penguin lost a beat «I know you may think I’m crazy but before I talk to you I have to solve something » and so he gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek .

He got up and went back to the car, two hours were about to run out and he had to solve the situation with Ed before the emails were published.

Oswald was still motionless on the dock, a hand touching his cheek, almost in disbelief at what had just happened and the strange feeling of being still jolted by events he could not control.


	8. J. W. Gordon

The harbor always left a strange scent on him; it was not just the smoke from the nearby factories or the stale smell of the warehouses. It was not the humidity that permeated the air or the wood wet in the water, it was far from this. It was as if the river represented the beginning and the limit of Gotham and every smell ended there and then everywhere and eventually on his coat.

But that night it was not only that, he still felt the smell of the Oswald cologne, he had inhaled it when he had approached to kiss him and the perfume had stayed there with him all the way to the GCPD.

Gordon returned to the headquarter, still undecided about what he would say to Ed, but one thing was certain, he could not "betray" Oswald.

He already had his hand on the handle of the door where he had left Nygma, when Harvey caught his eye.

« Emh, Jim, I would say it's really a weird day »

Gordon felt that a terrible headache would come to him « What happened now? »

« Nygma, he escaped. He had accomplices here, under our eyes »

Jim had knew right away that something was wrong, that Ed was too quiet but he did not believe his plan was so convoluted, get caught just to be able to mock the GCPD again.

« He left an envelope for you. Fox has controlled, it is safe, you can open it » Bullock added, handing him a green envelope.

Jim snatched it from him, annoyed. Being ridiculed by Ed was a defeat, but at least he should not have let him go, to protect Oswald. In a way, he had done him a favor.

He opened the envelope, fearing however that Ed still get one card to play, but when he finished reading, he had a smile.

" _Dear Jim,_

_I imagine two scenarios. In the first you confessed everything to Oswald, in the second, as I hope, you did not do it because you understood what you feel for him._

_I'm not sure that I will be doing a favour to him, he could get someone better, but the idea of the Boss of the city and the police captain that come together, makes me laugh so much that I could not resist intervening._

_I decided to leave you this riddle, dear Jimbo, you need a wake-up call:_

_"I've never been but I'm destined to be. Everyone looks at me"._

_I will be magnanimous; I will also give you the answer: the future. The future is what you and Ozzy should begin to look._

_I keep the money, I have big plans for my future._

_See you next time,_

_The Riddler_ "

Jim took a moment for himself, he did not care that the Harvey was staring around him or the agents continued their normal activities. He had gone through falling in love with a man he had met online and the realization that he felt something for Oswald, perhaps for a long time, without ever realizing it. Even Ed had noticed, perhaps even Harvey, yet he was not still poised, undecided about what was the right thing to do.

There was Oswald who had always trusted him, who had never betrayed him, who would never have expected him to be anything other than what he was. Unlike all his previous girlfriends, Oswald accepted him on all sides, even when they were in conflict.

« Harvey, I'll take the whole day »  he announced.

« Do well. Wait, do not you have dinner at Penguin tonight? »

« Yes, I do. So I have to sleep and get ready » he replied smiling.

Harvey bit his tongue, while he was smirking «Well, do not have too much fun »

 

***** * *****

 

Oswald came home chilled. The dampness of the port had penetrated him under the coat but he had not been immediately rendered, overwhelmed by those strange feelings that the kiss had aroused.

Martin, who was showing an unusual inclination to not fall asleep early, especially when Oswald was away from home, ran shyly to meet him. He had already prepared a simple question on the blocknotes and Oswald felt terribly guilty for making him worry.

" _Are you ok?_ "

« Yes, Martin »  he replied, stroking his hair.

Martin hugged him and Oswald felt incredibly cuddled, as it had not been for some time.

Kisses, hugs ... it was a strange night and he would have to rest a few hours to be ready for his party. After putting Martin to sleep, he lay down in his bed but there was no way to sleep. He kept rethinking the day he had just passed; he was starting to get old for such an emotional swing.

Jim Gordon remained a fascinating mystery, even though Oswald would have liked to be able to understand him. he was more complicated than a rebus, one day he was shouting at him, another seemed worried about him, a third kissed him on the dock.

" _It was just a kiss on the cheek, Oswald_. _Do not imagine the wedding party_ " a voice said within himself, very similar to that of Ed. Usually he heard the encouraging voice of the mother who invited him to go on, to risk, that everything would be fine, but this acid comment of his head, took shape with the voice of the Riddler.

He snorted at himself, he did not understand why he heard Ed's voice mocking him, maybe was he going crazy too?

He stared helplessly at the empty space on his desk, where before there was the PC he had thrown into the river. He hated things left undone and JW_Gotham was one of these. He wanted to close the chapter and not think about him anymore; to remain with the doubt of who was JW_Gotham, could have worn it; he knew enough himself to know that, the anger subsided, he would not let it go.

He had to know who he was, just to look at him and say goodbye.

He had read the emails so many times that he knew them by heart. JW_Gotham had once called himself a troublemaker, a rebel, and yet Oswald was sure he was not part of the crime. He looked like a man of steadfast principles. Once he had mentioned that as a young man he loved riding the motorcycle and from that moment Oswald had begun to imagine that he was going around in a leather jacket.

 _"Just like Gordon when he was a bounty hunter_ " another voice in his head said, a voice more dreamy; it seemed his voice but  more insecure, like when he was just an umbrella boy.

« What does Gordon have to do with it now ?! » He shouted, and fortunately there was no one else in the room, or they would have started to think that the boss had definitely lost his mind.

 

***** * *****

 

The Iceberg Lounge had been set up for the Mayor candidate's dinner. Every detail had been taken care of perfectly and Oswald should have been proud of it. Yet he felt unhappy. Jim had said he had to talk to him, it sounded like something serious, but that he had to fix something first. And obviously Oswald had not seen him or heard him. He did not know whether to be worried that something had happened to him or to be angry about the contradictory messages he had given him.

He showed off his best fake smile when the guests began to arrive, he wanted to enjoy the evening and ingratiate himself with as many people as possible.

He had already shifted several hands and went into several anecdotes, when he saw, out of the corner of the eye, James Gordon to get into the Iceberg Lounge. He could not hide a look thrilled when their eyes met; he did not even realize that he was abandoning a conversation, leaving his guests disconcerted and he moved to Jim.

« Nice party » Jim began to speak.

« I did not expect to see you, honestly »  he replied.  « I mean, I did not really know what to expect »

« Well, I promised you I would come » Gordon said, giving him a look that made Oswald blush to the tips of his ears.

« OK, well. Of course, I… »

« Oswald, I should talk to you after dinner » Jim interrupted .

« O-ok, so you solved that business? »

« Yes, even if Ed is free again»

« I heard it » he replied, with a hint of fun that did not escape to Jim. It was not the hassle because he left go a dangerous criminal, he was just jealous. He did not want Ed to still stir feelings of admiration, sympathy or whatever it was in Oswald.

He was about to stroke his hand when Oswald was distracted by the arrival of other guests and Jim, with a snort of frustration, walked away to look for his table.

The dinner was not interrupted by explosions or other problems, as in the other candidate's dinner. Everything went smoothly, perhaps too much. Gordon could not help but notice that most people were faintly friendly and probably they were there more to a duty towards the boss of the city than because they really wanted him as mayor.

Actually Oswald had been the best mayor of the last few years, Jim was sure enough, but it was hard enough that he could win this time.

After shaking several hands and entertaining the wealthiest guests, Oswald collapsed in the chair next to Jim, nervously spreading his shirt collar.

« I'm sorry to have neglected you »

« No poblem » Gordon said, who had just finished dessert.

« To talk to morons, moreover. Morons who hate being called morons » he added, waving his hands in the air.

« All morons hate it when you call them a moron »

Oswald stared at him in amazement « It's a quote of “The catcher in the rye »

« I know » Jim said instinctively « I have started to read recently »

Oswald blinked several times, it could not really be a coincidence. Jim stirred nervously in his chair, it was not his intention to reveal himself at that moment but he had said that him without realizing it.

He noticed Oswald's mind frantically at work. He stared at him without looking at him, probably he was silently thinking about all the emails with JW_Gotham and Jim held his breath. He did not know what to expect but Oswald's expression did not look happy at all.

« Jim, maybe it will seem like a crazy question but ... what's your middle name ? »

Jim opened his mouth several times to answer « Oswald... I... »

« No, that's my name. Tell me, please »

« Worthington »

« J.W. Gordon? » Jim nodded, hoping that Oswald's hurt expression would turn into a smile but it did not happen; he did not say anything, he got up and not worry that it was his party, that he would have to hold back the guests, that maybe he should have a speech, he disappeared from the hall to move upstairs.

An hour later Oswald had not yet returned. Jim hoped he would be back at least out of courtesy to the guests, not for him, but he began to lose all hope.

He took care to follow him upstairs, even though he did not know exactly how to handle the situation, he had to at least try to explain himself to Oswald.

He climbed the stairs, expecting to be stopped by some of the guards and, in fact, Victor met him with his usual grin.

« What did you do now? »

« Where's Cobblepot ? »

« In his room, howling against the world. Why do I have the feeling it's your fault? »

Gordon gave him a sideways glance and passed him without another word.

He headed for what he thought was Oswald's room, the only one where a light filtered under the door; he opened the handle slowly and remained silent on the door. Oswald was from behind and was looking out the window; all the posture was tense, motionless, did not seem to have noticed the presence of the man in the room.

« Oswald, let me explain » Gordon murmured.

Oswald whirled around, trembling with rage, and from the state of his eyes he looked like he had cried for a long time « You knew I was Gotham_152 ! I was right, you saw me at the restaurant and you changed your mind. Who did you expect? A handsome man like Harvey Dent ? »

« No, look ...» he tried, but was immediately interrupted.

« Stop it, Jim! You left me there, alone. It did not matter! You also came to mock me, as if it was a normal thing »

« It was not my intention » he tried again, but Oswald was not listening. He had begun to walk laboriously around the room, ignoring him.

« Because that's what everyone thinks, right? That my feelings are not important! You can shoot me at the pier, throw me at Arkham, take me away everything and it do not touch you at all. Penguin is a monster, it deserves worse! »

Jim shook his head, but being able to say something in the middle of Oswald's speech was impossible. «You have not written to me. I was not good for you, was not it? I guess how much you laughed with Bullock. Oswald Cobblepot looking for an online relationship, how loser he is. Then, what? Did you feel sorry for me and decided to resume writing to me? »

« Os ...» Jim tried to approach, trying to calm him.

« Is that why you're here? You was sorry for me, Jim? I do not want your pity! » He shouted, but it was not anger, it was discomfort, pain, something that was evident from his hurt look.

« If you let me explain…»

« I do not care. You disappointed me both as Jim Gordon and as JW_Gotham. Get away, now! »

Jim moved closer to him but Penguin retreated to the front door « Oswald, listen to me please »  he tried more firmly in the belief that it would work, but in response Oswald came out of the room to call Victor.

« Get rid of Captain Gordon»

And in a moment Jim Gordon was on the sidewalk in front of the Icerberg Lounge .

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I know I said the fluff was coming ... but this chapter took longer than expected. Hold on!  
> Thanks for reading!!! <3


	9. Mi casa es tu casa

The phone kept ringing, some agents had come back from the shift to report, but Jim Gordon did not seem to pay any attention to anyone. He felt empty, just as at the end of each relationship that he have had and it was always his fault.

He wore the jacket and left his office, he wanted to get some air or at least stop thinking about how happy he had been just a few weeks ago. He walked past Bullock's desk without a word, but Harvey noticed his friend's lost look.

« Election Day. Barbara has finally retired, what do you say, it will be a head-to-head or Cobblepot will receive a resounding defeat? » Harvey laughed until he noticed Jim's sad expression.

« Hey friend. What happens? You're strange from the night of the Penguin dinner » He had not asked for anything because Jim had withdrawn in total silence, but by now this muteness had lasted too long.

« He found out I'm JW_Gotham » Gordon exhaled, before resuming his walk to get out of the police station, invariably chased by Bullock.

There was a lot of excitement outside the station, some election posters were thrown to the floor and there was a sense that it was really going to change for Gotham.

Jim was standing on the sidewalk when Bullock grabbed him by the shoulder to make him turn.

« And he wasn’t happy? Penguin I mean »

« I would say no, he shouted at me and threw me out of the Iceberg Lounge »  he replied, keeping a melancholy expression.

« Can you give me more details, pal? »

« He thinks he made fun of him; he believes I do not care because it's him »

Harvey pondered the answer well, he was not sure how he would handle this crisis between Jim and Oswald Cobbelpot.

« Well, he's not in the wrong »  he commented, thinking back to when they had found themselves outside the restaurant staring at Penguin sitting at the table and how Gordon had left, after so much quivering.

« It's a little more complicated than that, Harvey. I was able to reflect. But now it's no use at all » he replied, shrugging.

« What's coming out of those lippers? Jim Gordon who surrenders in a sentimental situation. Weird, it never happens »

« Harvey, what should I do? I tried to write more emails but I do not even know if he read them »

« Oh, Jim. Penguin has always jumped around you like a puppy, he looked at you as if you had hung the moon, he  never avenged on you or has ever taken actions against you and now you give up because you think he does not feel anything? Look, I'm really the last person who would encourage you to go after Oswald, but rather than, see  you hanging around the office like a beaten dog, I'd rather you act. Redeem it, do something, Jim »

Gordon remained for a while longer looking at  his shoes. Barbara, Lee, Vale, it was always over because of its hidden sides that they could not accept. Finally he had found someone who wanted him as he was, to discover that he had always had him under  his eyes.

If it was to be a tragedy, it was worth playing the last act of the drama. Regaining Oswald or give up, once again, to the loneliness.

 

***** * *****

 

The exit polls were not very encouraging, Oswald had not even prepared a speech or a party, it was clear enough that he would not win and he had not retired solely because he did not want to go for a coward.

He was cleaning a glass, old memories of when he worked for Fish, when Jim entered the Iceberg Lounge. In spite of everything, Oswald had not put him on a black list, but perhaps he was simply convinced that he would no longer see himself. But it never happened after every fight, after every battle, after every threat of throwing him into jail, Jim always came back to him.

« Hey » Jim said, and immediately felt stupid for such a trivial approach.

« What do you want?  » Oswald barked, fearing Jim wanted to ask for help with some task of GCPD.

« I voted for you »  he replied, looking at the posters thrown into a corner of the room. « I 'm serious »  he added, as Oswald's expression grew more and more annoyed .

« Jim, I'm not in the mood for jokes, exchanges of pleasantries ...  or " _Oswald help me capture the madman on duty but do not expect anything in return, not even my respect_ " »

« I liked to write to you ...»  he added, sitting on the stool next to Oswald, who snorted, looking everywhere except in his direction; it still hurt too much and he was tired of being so compliant with him.

« Good to know »  he answered ironically.

Jim reached out to get Oswald's, but he quickly withdrew it, as if he had just been burned. He gave him an expression between " _do not dare_ " and " _I hate you_ ", but these were not the emotions he was feeling. For a brief moment he had really thought someone liked him and the next moment he had believed that Jim was starting to see something more in him than a criminal: he had kissed him on the pier where he had saved his life before, it seemed like a new beginning, instead, it was one of the many times he was disappointed by Jim Gordon.

« I'm sorry. I would have to behave differently, be better, be like JW_Gotham, the most honest version of me, the one without preconceptions, without a thousand doubts »

Oswald opened his mouth to speak but was not sure what to say exactly; he wanted to rant against him again but at the same time he just wanted him to stop pitying him, or whatever he was doing.

« Please, leave me alone »  he answered, not very convinced, because Jim's eyes had been enough to make his certainty falter.

« I can not »  his voice was slightly broken, uncertain but he had to talk and be able to clarify « I was in love with Gotham_152 and I'm sorry to have been so cowardly to leave you alone at the restaurant. It's not easy for me, not after all my relationships ended badly. The problem was not you, but that Gotham_152 was a person I already knew »

« But you did not like me, Jim. I would have been happy to know it was you. Surprised, but happy. You left instead »

« But I came back to Oswald Cobblepot, not to Gotham_152 »

Oswald gasped, he would not give in, he would not let Jim to compel him as usual. Although the idea of embracing him, feeling the warmth of his body, passing a hand through his hair, was growing inside him like a thirsty in the desert. It was not just a chance to feel the love he missed so much, but simply it was Jim Gordon.

« Is there nothing I can do or say to convince you that I'm not lying? That really the situation got out of hand? It annoys me to admit that I needed Ed to understand how I was fallen in love, but it is so »

« Jim ...» he murmured, but before he could add anything else, Jim jumped up with unmotivated enthusiasm, at least for Oswald, and took him by the hand, dragging him down from the stool

« Okay, plan B »

« Excuse me? » Oswald said;  despite the disappointment, he was following him wherever he was the target, which apparently looked up the stairs.

« Where are you taking me? » He asked with a hint of panic. He knew that Jim was quite passionate but he had no intention of being dragged into the bed, at least not before having received long and heartfelt excuses.

" _So you're forgiving him?_ " He heard Ed's voice in his head " _trivial, it was so obvious. You're so crazy about him that nothing is enough to put everything aside_ "

« Oh, shut up » he snapped and Jim turned to look at him, perplexed. « I was not talking »

« James Gordon, please tell me ... oh »

They had finally arrived at the final destination, at the end of the stairs, directly on the roof of the Iceberg Lounge.

There was an elegantly set table for two, some candles and a string quartet that Jim had hired with the help of Bruce Wayne.

«A roof where you can see Gotham, music, a romantic dinner ... You wrote something like that, did not you? »

«It's not worth taking advantage of my mails to make you forgive. And then I do not want to forgive you »

« It seems to me you're already doing it »

« That's not true » he answered, blushing.

«So do you not want to have dinner with me? »Jim asked, with a sly smile that Oswald had seen rarely and usually not directed at him.

«This dinner arrives remarkably late » he replied, but he was already walking towards the table to sit down.

Jim took him by the side and Oswald winced in reply « You know me, I'm a little ...»

« Stubborn? Ungrateful? Uselessly attached to a rigid morality that does not allow you to be yourself and see the shades of gray? »

« I would have said " _slow to understand my feelings_ " but also what you said is okay» Jim smiled satisfied when Oswald shook his head in amusement. For a moment their eyes met and Oswald's gaze moved from interested to nervous.

« I'll tell you right now, you're not about to kiss me»

« No? » Jim asked, approaching and stopping himself laughing.

Oswald pushed him away, more caress than a real push, but enough to stop Captain Gordon. « No, you did not ask sorry enough. So what 's for dinner? »

« So you're not angry about this invasion? »

« Oh, it's your show, Jim. _Mi casa es tu casa_. But I wonder how you managed to bypass security and organize this »

« Martin » he answered, and Oswald was speechless. That child was turning out to be far more resourceful than he thought.

Jim knew it would not be easy but he was already much closer to being forgiven than he was half an hour before.

« The menu is a mystery for me too. I had to call a chef; I imagined that you would not like a simple sandwich » he said, lifting the lids of the dishes that contained their dinner.

« Very well put, James. It looks like salmon » he answered, sitting down.

Jim admired Oswald that despite all the emotional swing of the last hours, he managed to maintain an apparent calm, as if they were sharing a normal dinner.

« So you want to run for Commissioner » he said, enjoying Gordon's surprised expression.

« How do you know? »

« Please, I always know everything » he replied with feigned modesty.

«Will I have your vote? » He asked provocatively.

« I do not know, it depends on how the evening ends » he answered without malice but Jim 's eyes widened and Oswald felt a sudden warmth on his cheeks. « No, I ... I did not mean that. Stop laughing »

Jim almost choked with wine, he had never seen someone so embarrassed about making a joke about sex and found him tender. Five years ago he would never have thought of associating the word “tender” with Penguin, but it was happening right then.

Oswald threw the napkin over him, a way to invite him to stop grinning, but he had begun to laugh too.

« Ok, ok, all right, I hope you'll give me a "10" vote tomorrow morning »

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my new adventure. As usual, I apologize if English is not perfect, I try to do my best.  
> Every comment is welcome :))


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